Blowing By...

This week our sweet, beautiful Allison was asked to our school's JROTC Military Ball, not by one but by two young men! She was thrilled to say the least! The first boy, with whom she is going, came to the school at lunch time especially to ask her, he attends the alternate days that our kids attend. She and all her friends were jumping and squealing and hugging and laughing. Just the sort of reaction I would expect from one of my very expressive children! She ran over to me and was talking so fast I had to have her repeat herself, she could hardly talk her smile was so big. It was a sweet moment for me as a momma to see my little girl so happy, it was a difficult moment to know she is growing up! She is 15 for goodness sake, it seems like she was just born, just latching on to my shoulder and throwing her head back to look all around as if she was some how missing something. She was never interested in being cradled in my arms as her brother was. Since the day she was born she has wanted to be a part of the world, not just around it, not standing on the side, but interacting with it. Now she is jumping in with both feet, the times are changing, our children are growing up, and now the girls are starting their season of going with boys to dances! This won't be a date, we'll drive her to the dance and we are allowing her date to drive her home with very specific time lines and driving routes.

It was hard for me as a momma too, to call my husband...her daddy and tell him that his daughter has been asked to a very special ball. He was home sick that day and was a little sicker after the conversation. Of course he is happy for her, but he is her daddy. The young man had to call, after asking Allison, and talk to Veldon and ask his permission. Allison was so nervous she gave the boy her cellphone number, which turned out to be rather confusing but in the end he called and asked permission. Veldon's voice was about gone and very raspy, I wonder if he scared the fire out of the boy! Hayden has now completely stepped into the role of big brother and told us he was going to talk to the boy too...I'm pretty sure Allison hopes he doesn't! We are now all focused on looking for that perfect, modest dress!

Watching my girls and their dad is such a sweet thing! I adore my mom and have always been close to her, but there are many times I have wished to really have a father, there's no other relationship in the world like it, as I suspect there is none like the mother-son relationship. Our family has never really been divided into gender, Daddy does this with the boys, Mommy does this with the girls...it has always been a much more collaborative effort. Of course I have generally bought the clothes and mommy stuff like that, but Veldon has given all four of our kids as many baths as I have, we have both put on shoes and kissed booboos. Max is very attached to Veldon, but I think it's because he loves it when Veldon is home and he loves being around a man. He doesn't look to Veldon for anything more than he looks to me. He does like it when Veldon pushes the buggy at the store, but I think that has more to do with the likelihood of playing around and running through the aisles! Hayden does the same thing when he is pushing the buggy.

The difference I see in parenting and gender relationships is how much the child looks to the opposite sex parent for validation. My girls really need for Veldon to tell them how pretty they are, they love to tell him about their days and get his perspective. When Hayden is having a bad day or time in his life he will often open up to me, he looks to me for validation that he's a good kid and a nice boy, that he can do it. I also think I tend to do more for Hayden and protect him from things more than his dad would. On the flip side, I think the girls get more grace for the mood swings and other stuff from their dad then they do from me. I'm excited for Allison to go this ball, Veldon is dreading it, he's not ready and not looking forward to it. When Hayden went out to his first dance with a girl I was so upset, Veldon was fine, not worried a bit. I worried he would be nervous or she would be unkind, that he might feel silly...all sorts of things. Veldon was just fine!

So we are walking, as a family, into another season of our lives. The season where our girls are noticed by boys. Every dad seems to make it through this time, but I know who isn't thrilled to have seen, up close a change in seasons!