Life

My sweet husband gave me a new camera last night. It's a great camera, and although Nikon and reviewers consider it an entry level DSLR I can't imagine I'll ever need anything more. It's a frivolous gift for sure, something I don't deserve. My Canon, which I have had for the last 3 years, is a pretty good point and shoot...when it decides to work...which is less and less. When we turn it on it just clicks away but doesn't come on. By the time you get it on the moment has passed and there's no need to have it on. The baby comes on, so far, every time I ask it to. I'm floored.

I know that part of the reason he bought me this great camera is for our trip to get our boy. It's a way to connect me to the process. A way to soothe my bleeding heart. We pray every single day, sometimes several times a day, for our referral. So far, every single day, God has said no, but the day will come when He will say yes. Unless you've waited 7+ months for a referral, and gone 3 or 4 months with out even a word from your agency, which many people have I know, you can't understand how dark these months have been. I know that God is doing a work, I know that His plans are greater than ours and I know that the sweet day will come when we get our referral and then our "To Whom" letter and then our travel dates, but the waiting is very, very dark. I am determined to be grateful though. To understand that God's plans are bigger than mine, and better than mine. To know that every day I wait will make bringing our boy home that much sweeter.

So that's really all. We are 3 days out until Christmas our last, I think, with only 1 son. We are 4 days out until my sister and her family arrive to make our house full of energy and noise. I can't wait. I am ever so grateful for a husband that finds joy in spoiling me. Who tells me it's Christmas and I get so very little throughout the year that at Christmas we can splurge. He's mistaken, he spoils me all year long, but what a sweet and thoughtful man I married. He never resents buying me presents and being sweet to me. I thank God every day for him.

We will continue to pray every day for our referral. Since the agency is closed on Thursday and Friday and our SW isn't working on Wed. today is our last hope for the week...you never know. If not today maybe next Monday, or Tuesday, or Wednesday...it will come...someday it will come.

Tara