Growing Up

Who would have thought that I would be spending energy contemplating a Kindergarten curriculum for a preschooler and colleges for a senior at the same time? Certainly not I!!! Max won't officially attend K at our school this year, although cognitively I think he could do it, he's like a sponge. Developmentally he isn't there yet. He doesn't really seem to use information in a consistent, meaningful way, connect the dots of the puzzle to make sense. For example we worked in the yard yesterday, he and I, he left me in the backyard to go in for a minute. A few minutes later he was back outside, in the front yelling for me, even when I called him to the back he stayed in the front yelling. We had worked in the front for quite a while but moved to the back. I went to the front and asked him where I was when he went inside, he said "back there" pointing to the back yard. I asked why he didn't look for me there and his face went blank and after a few seconds he said "I don't know". I don't think he ever got why he should be looking for me in the back, even when I wasn't in the front, even when I reminded him we had been in the back. The front is where we spend most of our time so it made sense to him that I would be in the front. That may not seem like a big deal but if he can't take information and use it then he's not ready for a school classroom. Even if it is just 2 days a week. He's getting better though and he will continue to mature and catch up. In the mean time I will teach him at home because his mind is always going and he desperately wants to learn.

We are finishing up all the "stuff" to graduate Hayden. My goodness it's daunting! Pictures to submit, announcements to make, letters to write, tests to schedule for him to take, applications to fill out, change, change, change is what all of this is screaming to me! I'm not a big fan of change either, I can do it, I just prefer not to. I'm not sure if that's a result of getting older, I am middle aged now, or the fact that we experienced so much change for so long that I am just over it, or a combination of both, probably the latter! I'm old and have had too much change. Knowing that Hayden's friends won't be hanging out here like they have is sad. Knowing the his childhood is coming to and end is sad. The fact that I am old enough to have an almost 18 yr old is sad. Thinking that in the future, maybe not this year but soon, I won't see his face every single day is sad. It's hard to watch your babies grow into adulthood. Sitting around the dinner table laughing, or crying as the case may be, can be the best part of the day. They aren't all home every evening but when they are it can be so much fun. Those days of having them all home together are dwindling away quickly.

I'm so grateful for the years of home schooling we chose to do. I'm glad I've been home with them, or they've been home with me to be more accurate. I'm glad they all pile onto our bed and laugh and talk and often times run me out of the room because the tend to get rowdy with their dad. I like to hear them laughing at night or playing stupid games like "Rock, Scissors, Paper" and then watching a movie.

Hayden's future is wide open, he just has to figure out what he wants to do with it. Of course I worry about him, but I know God has a plan for Hayden. I know that my Heavenly Father loves Hayden more than I ever could. I know that He is always working in Hayden's life for His good and glory. So although as a momma I worry, as a child of God I rest in the truth that I don't have to worry my son has an all sufficient Father. Allison, on the other hand, is preparing for the future already, making plans and creating a map. Which includes being accepted to UGA in the fall of her senior year. She's not sure she wants to go there, but she wants early admittance. Silly girl! She is constantly looking at colleges and mission groups and careers. I'm not sure what she will come up with but she is certainly working toward it...whatever it may be!

I love my children and I love being their mom. I love driving them all over creation, I love that every time I walk out the door one of them wants to tag along. I love that they tell me what's going on in their heads...even if it makes no sense! I love that our house is full of endless chatter, not noise (although it can be very noisy!) it's chatter, talk, constant talk.