Ready to Go?

We are 30+ hours from heading south to the Atlanta airport, leaving on a jet plane, and flying half across the world to get our youngest son.  Tonight I'm not ready!  The suitcase has clothes in it, there is food for the airplane and the layover in Detroit.  Max's and Isaac's bags are packed, final paperwork gathered and packed, tickets have been purchased, all adoption fees paid there's nothing more to do but to go and...

And what?

I don't know!

We have walked through one of the toughest years in our life as a family, and leaving my two oldest and my mom (not because I'm a momma's girl which I might be but for other reasons) and our world isn't easy right not.  If there was ever a perfect adoption process I think we had it this time.  God has shown himself in mighty ways over the past 9 months that we have been working to bring Isaac home. I should be jumping for joy, and I am, but it's hard to leave.  We are leaving Hayden and Allison in good shape.  They have the house rules, they will continue to go to their respective schools, work their jobs, take care of the dogs, clean the house (not likely lol) and be fine here.  It's still hard to leave.  I'm not sure I mentioned that right now it's hard to leave!

For the past weeks, maybe few months, I have intentionally started every prayer with something to this affect "God we/I acknowledge that you are a good God, you are a just God, everything you do is right and good. You withhold nothing good from us and we can trust your faithfulness even when our faith is weak. You are sovereign and everything we walk through comes through your hand."  Maybe not every single prayer, but those words and thoughts have been the theme of my prayers of late.  I have needed very desperately to preach the gospel to myself. To say the truths that my faithless heart might forget or not trust.  He is our great God!  He is right in all he does!  He does not withhold good from his children!  Those are truths that are eternal and good and Biblical.

Is the good that he gives us lots of money and nice cars?  Maybe, he does bless some with those things, but that's not the "good" I am referring to, nor do I believe God ever confuses his good intentions toward us with material blessings.  His good intentions for us are those things he uses to increase our faith, refine us, make us more like his Son, conform us to his image. So even the worst suffering is good, because God is using it to make us more like his Son.  God is using the hardest roads we walk for his glory!  What an amazing testimony of a merciful God who doesn't leave us in our broken helpless condition, but saves us then sanctifies us!  Wow! How many gods are working for the good of their followers? I can think of only 1 the True and Living God!

So we are leaving in 30+ hours. Given the turmoil of the last 14 months I am inclined to gather my little chicks close to me and lock the door to the outside world. I am inclined to soothe my own fears by smothering those I long to love and protect. But that's my sin nature, my fear nature screaming in my face, that's not the Spirit living in me. So I will board that plane knowing that our great God loves my children, my mother, my sister, my friends all those people more than I ever could and I can trust him with the decisions that he makes while I'm home or even on the other side of the earth.  Tonight as I pray with my husband I will acknowledge those afore stated truths and tomorrow morning when I wake up I will again acknowledge them, because as believers that's what we do we cling to the truths we know about our God.

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Tim. 1:17


"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, ⁴ for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. ⁵ We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ" 2 Corinthians 10:3-5