Last Leg of the Journey

Yesterday launched us officially into the last leg of our journey to make Max our son. We completed our third and final home study. It was rather uneventful, Cheryl came to the house as usual and Max and the rest of the family answered her questions and shared about life for the last 6 months with our newest boy. Max charmed her with his sweet, sweet personality and with his smarts. He talked to her a lot, played the guitar for her, sang and played ball. He can throw a football in a spiral...it's pretty impressive! He asked her several questions about what she was doing and what she was writing about him. He absolutely knew and understood she was there to talk about him. He told her a little about Thailand and seeing the elephants play soccer and fight (at the elephant exhibit and show we went to). He danced, which is hysterically funny because it looks like a cross between soft shoe and some sort of hillbilly shoulder dance. I can't imagine how he came up with it but it's priceless. Cheryl was thrilled to actually hear him talk and count, and say his ABCs and point to colors and name them. He really turned it on, but I was grateful. It was one time that it was all right to make himself the center of attention when company was over.

In three weeks from tomorrow we are scheduled to finalize in court. Today I went back over some old emails from our agency, I was looking for some specific information, but came across the email we got a few weeks after we started working to adopt him, when it looked like we might not be able to adopt him...I felt all those raw feelings of loss and disappointment. We hadn't been working towards him for very long, but my heart was set and I couldn't help but hurt. There were other circumstances that added to the hurt and all of that came flooding back. We went for 2 months not knowing for sure what would happen and spending a lot of time praying and waiting for the home study to be wrapped up. By the time the home study was done Veldon had decided that no matter what we would move forward with Tankhun. Our social worker encouraged us to apply for grants and wait a few more weeks to see what the agency would decide. I reread the email Kate sent to me telling me that a grant had been awarded to Tankhun and the hold papers were on their way. We waited 3 long months before being able to move forward to bring him home. We had no idea that 3 months would seem short and insignificant in comparison to the final wait! But still all the stress of the those months and relief we felt knowing he was on hold for us is indescribable.

In the months ~ years ~ we waited for Max so very much happened. Our faith was stretched beyond belief and at times I was sure I lost mine. Why would God allow our little boy to wait and wait and wait when our family was ready and willing to bring him home? I am sure that we are not to question God and I am sure that many more faithful than I don't, but in those long dark months my heart and my mind argued a lot. My logic and my mind understood God had a plan, that His ways are good and right, but my heart was breaking for a little boy who needed to come home. I still have no answers about the wait, but I know that we made it, that God brought us through and although some would say that we didn't handle it well I believe that we did what we could to bring Him Glory through the process. Life is hard, circumstances are difficult but God is faithful to us and to His purposes. We were told we were on the wrong road. People asked if the child really even existed if maybe it was all a fraud...so many strange and thoughtless things were said to us. But even through all of the that we didn't question our commitment to the process...not really. At times I would cry and tell God I would wait 1 more month, or 2 or 3 or whatever number was in my head on that day, but of course how could I quit? How could we walk away because it was too hard on us? How could we leave a beautiful little boy over there to start over and wait longer? In the final analysis, obviously, it didn't matter how long we would wait, we would do it!

If we walk this road again I think there's every chance we would look at Thailand. There might be seemingly easier roads, but in the end there are no guarantees, just a sovereign God who does as He pleases and is always right and always good and always working in our lives for His own purposes and glory!

Amazingly we will complete this journey with Tankhun...Maxwell Calvin T.....3 years and about 8 days to the day of our first seeing his beautiful picture. Of the 3 year process I can say with absolute certainty that the last 6 months have been the very best!!!