As I'm typing this post my favorite 4 year old is sitting on the floor next to me in a kind of "time out" or "time in" or something. There are days when there's just a glint in his eyes and I know we are going to struggle. He is refusing a simple request, just refusing, no real reason, it's not a hard thing to do or scary and won't even take any time but when I asked him to do this thing he laid his head on my shoulder and stuck his thumb in his mouth...an obvious "I'm not interested in complying" posture. So onto the floor he went, actually I asked him a couple more times and was completely ignored, to sit until he complied. Thankfully he understands most of what we say to him because when I asked him to do this again he just looked at me so I told him he wasn't getting up until he complies and that I didn't mind if he sat there all day. He spoke! "Nooooo" I replied "all you have do is... and then you can get up". He thought for a few minutes and proceeded to obey, after obeying he was swooped up and loved on and praised and maybe now the day will march on better, maybe not, oh well.
Overall I would have to say that Max is compliant he seeks to please and does what he is told, but there are those moments when he just flat out refuses. I guess I can understand that I have moments when I want to refuse to do what I know I need to do or should do, I like to think that I don't just lay my head down, in effect telling God "no", but as human and sinful as I am I'm sure I do that at times too. When I do I know that God deals with me, just as Veldon and I deal with Max. I asked him to do something the other day, he looked at me, studied me and the situation for a few seconds (I could almost see the wheels turning), I asked him to do it again, he continued to look at me and look around and then did what I had asked him to do. Later someone commented that it was obvious he was a boy who had lost a few battles. I was so glad to hear that, Max is learning what we, and me specifically, are all about. It doesn't stop him from defying us at times, but he does know that defiance will be met, not with a laugh or excuses but with discipline and that obedience is expected. I think we are parenting Max very much like we did the older kids, but most definitely with more patience, and although they are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, and they have their moments of disobedience I don't believe they ever wonder if their disobedience will be dealt with. I'm sure there are instances that they hope we never become aware of and I'm sure there are things we miss, but I have to believe (hope) that those events are few and far between. Hayden confessed to me, at the end of the school day yesterday that he had gotten in trouble with his assistant, he proceeded to assure me it was no "big deal" a phrase that often is a red flag for me! I found the assistant and she agreed it was fairly minor but needed to be addressed. I was so proud of him for confessing to me, he didn't have to, I likely would have never found out but he still felt the need to let me know. It probably seems strange to relate obedience my children confessing to me and sharing their lives, but I believe it works together. I think they are secure with us and how we deal with life and that gives them the freedom to tell us about their lives the good the bad and all the in between, and they do! My girls share their conversations with friends with me, they share their struggles and their dreams, they seek our advice and sometimes even take it! at times I know they don't think I'm listening, but I am, I know when to tune out and when to tune in, and I am so thankful for every word that pours out of their mouths. Well, talk about chasing a rabbit....
Max is growing and changing every day. He asked me the other day "where I got my socks" after I told him I wasn't sure he said "shopping or Target?". A friend pointed out that it might amaze Max to go to the store and be able to get whatever you want. Maybe it does amaze him, but I think he is just putting pieces together in his mind. His mind, and his hands btw, are always moving and working. He is always thinking about what is going on around him, he notices everything and files it away to pull out later, he asks question after question, which is just about right for a little Tims and he is curious about the world.
I can't imagine a single day without this precious boy!
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