Changes

I am not really great at blogging. I have very little consistency in keeping it updated, I find it hard to squeeze in the time I need to sit down and write a whole post and sometimes I have little to say. Not much is going on these with our immediate family, but at church there are all sorts of changes taking place. One of the really big ones is that in 1 week from tomorrow my sweet husband is launching a modern service. He has been working with a band for several weeks now and things are coming together. He is very excited and stressed beyond belief. There's a part of him that believes he is too old to be cool, actually I think he's more nervous that others think he's too old to be cool, but he's not. He understands music, he listens to the same music our kids and their friends listen to and he has the maturity necessary to lead our church in this direction. As much as they are trying to bring a new musical language to the church, for those who speak a different musical language, the most important thing is that the music still be theologically sound. That means that songs still won't be chosen and used based solely on how they sound but rather what they say and then how they sound. Veldon has a degree in music and his seminary degree was theologically based, so that's the best of two worlds. He also won't get caught up in the pressure to please everyone, although at this point he's beginning to feel as if he won't please anyone! He understands worship well enough to know it's not a concert and the point isn't to make everyone feel good. I'm very excited about the changes that are coming. I excited to look back on this in six months and to see what God has done in our church and with our music program. Everyone won't be pleased, everyone never is, but if God is glorified and honored then Veldon has done the right thing!

On the home front, Max is growing and changing everyday. His language is developing, not as quickly as it was I think, but I believe more is going on inside his head now. He's working to put thoughts together and to really express himself. He has decidedly confused "don't" and "can't" so when he doesn't like something he says "I can't like it" it is hysterical, and although we probably ought to correct him, it's just too cute to fix. He is assertive with his desires and even, at times, talks backs and argues. Those are all normal behaviors and as he relaxes in our home we expect those kinds of normal things to increase. One area Max struggles with is boundaries, in every area. He touches and moves and changes things all the time. He has no sense of "maybe I shouldn't be doing this...since Mommy and Daddy have said not to like 1,000 times" he just does what he wants and acts surprised by the consequences. I guess that's impulse control, and we are working on it. For a 4 1/2 year old his is low for a 2 1/2 - 3 year old it would be about right and since we know he has some developmental delays from being institutionalized I can't expect much more from him. He sleeps well, eats well, sloooooowly, but well, he generally obeys and is a joy in our home. I cannot even fathom how well things have gone. He has never once thrown a tantrum, he has cried to be sure and pouted and even acted angry, but he has never had a throw down tantrum. He has not really destroyed anything that I can think of. He knocks before he enters bedrooms and he seems to be happy in our home. I worry that things are going too well, not really, but I am overwhelmed with his adjustment so far. At times I think about the future and wonder if we will walk this road again, 4 kids is a lot and I'm tired and we waited a long time for him so I don't know. Selfishly I don't know because I can't imagine another child coming home so smoothly. He has been the perfect child for our home, he has been a dream adoption and I don't just say that because I'm smitten with him. He is amazing and I fear that we, in our humanity, would be terribly hard on another child who might not come into our home so easily.

Well, we'll let the future worry about itself and we'll just walk the road we're on right now. We sent all of our paperwork to our attorney this week to begin finalizing! That's exciting for us. Now to just come up with funds...it seems the financial end of adoption is never ending!