10 Days and Counting!

We are so close to travel I can't believe it! Every logical part of my being (which is a small amount of my being to be sure) said this day would never come. My heart on the other hand, although broken and bleeding, could never give up. Our hotel reservations have been made, our airline tickets are in the process of being taken care of thanks to little Max's namesake! Buddy passes aren't always the easiest way to fly but so much cheaper, we are grateful! Suitcases for Veldon and me (matching of course because that's the way I roll!) have been purchased, really big suitcases that I wonder if I'll be able to even fill with the few clothes I have. Max has his own little suitcase and a Buzz Lightyear backpack, clothes, shoes, toys, and snacks. Medicine for everyone is ready to go. Passports are out, credit card company still needs to be called and told we are going to Thailand, can't forget that, and the new super cool camera bag/tote has arrived!! School is done for all of us and now I can think of more and more things I need to get together for we leave.

My mind isn't sure where to land right now. I'm so excited to be finally bringing him home. I wonder how he will respond to us, I wonder about the time we will spend in Thailand, I wonder about the plane trip home. I worry about the kids being here without us. I wonder if we will walk this road again, I wonder if Max will feel more lonely or less than he did before we came. I wonder if I will be exhausted for the rest of my life, I wonder if he will pick up English quickly or will struggle. I could continue this for days. Those thoughts are just the tip of the iceberg!

I feel a sense of concern from some of our dearest friends. They've watched us wait and hurt with us and I can feel that some of them are holding their breath until we board that plane. To be honest there's a bit of that for me too. We are not prone to having things go smoothly for us, so another delay or bump would not be unexpected, yet it would be. My mind believes we are going, there's no logical reason for anything to happen, yet I still catch my breath sometimes and wonder "what if?". I trust God, His plans and His ways are perfect. So I can't dwell on the what if, but I do appreciate that some are sensitive enough to be ready with the net if we start to fall!

So 10 days remaining until we will be leaving on a jet plane, 13 days until we meet our son and at the most 14 days until he is with us always! We leave for Bangkok 2 years and 1 day after our dossier was mailed to Bangkok. We never thought for a minute it would be 2 years later. This, as everyone knows, has been difficult. But as is true with every difficult thing God has brought us through, and there have not been few, I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change what God has taught me, although at times I felt abandoned and alone, I wouldn't change how my children have patiently waited for something unknown but desperately wanted. I wouldn't change that God has brought into our lives other, wonderful adoptive families we would not have met and walked with had this gone more quickly. I would not change the extraordinary people we now know in the orphanage in Thailand who are there caring for the children, some for the sake of Christ and others being used by Christ for His purposes. Had we seen the road ahead of us I think I might have turned around, but I thank God that He typically hides the road and reveals it one brick at a time. Actually, I'm not sure I would have turned around, I'm too stubborn to be that easily scared off. I likely would have headed into the adoption hoping and thinking that it would be different, it wouldn't take as long as predicted, it wouldn't be as difficult as everyone says it will be. Either way, although my heart aches that Max has been tucked away in an orphanage longer, much longer than necessary, I know that this was all in His plan and for His glory and I can't resent that or truly wish it different!

Hold on little man mommy and daddy are days away!!!!!