Referral!!!!

If I had the brain power I would count the days we have waited for our referral. I don't!! I am so overwhelmed and so thrilled but emotionally drained.

He's our boy, we've known it for months but it's official now he's ours!! I feel like crying and doing a happy dance and so much more. I can't describe the feelings I can't describe the joy I can't describe my gratitude to a faithful Father who cares for us and loves us and is providing for us even when we don't feel it and can't see it!

Pictures...3 yrs, 4 months, 19 days old

Video...Update...mixed feelings

It's great to get updates about the cutest little Thai guy in the world but at the same time it breaks my heart that I have to be a broken record and say we are still no closer to bringing him home.

Oh well, here's the video for you viewing pleasure...he smiles, and claps for himself and talks too...he's a precious boy!!!

One Week to Go....

...but not in a good way! Our Thai Social Worker leaves Thailand for 5 weeks in 1 week and if we don't get the referral, the referral that she led our American SW to believe was complete but not ready, then we won't get anything until November or later. When our agency came home from Thailand our SW told me to write the acceptance letter the referral was on it's way. She believed we could travel as soon as Jan or Feb. I'm pretty sure she's changed her mind now. Naunthip traveling to China won't set us back 5 weeks it will set us back months. She won't come home and think about our case and get it moving, history seems to prove that she gives very little thought to American families waiting for their child.

I decided not to write the letter because, although I'm a believer and don't believe in karma or other junk like that, I was afraid I would jinx the process. Of course God is sovereign, and I can't jinx anything, but after almost 2 years of waiting on this child I'm a little weird sometimes. Yesterday I felt convicted for a lack of faith so I wrote the letter. I cried through the whole thing because it felt so great to write about how much we want this little boy. To promise to make him our son and love and protect him forever, but it was hard too. Technically, I wasn't writing it for the reason most people write it...or technically I was, but I wasn't writing it in the same order that most people do...one of those things. Anyway, I just felt so heavy and sad that I wasn't writing it because it was going to be notarized and overnighted to our SW and the proverbial ball was going to be rolling. I was writing it on a hope, and faith that the referral, that is so late, is on it's way. So do I trust God that it's coming right now? Did He stir my heart, convict me for a lack of faith, and lead me to write the letter as our SW had encouraged. Or was it my own heart saying "look God I wrote the letter in faith...now you have to send a referral"? I don't know!! I really don't know!! I know how I will feel next week if no referral comes. I know I will feel let down I know I'll be frustrated with God because I'll have let myself hope that the referral was coming, that's why He had me write the letter. Of course, I know that any mistakes made, any misunderstandings are not on the part of the Sovereign but on the part of the sinful human. I'm going to hope and pray that the referral is on it's way, but if it's not I will survive the disappointment, I don't know how, but I don't have to worry about that. God promises to give us just enough grace to make it through each day not any extra but not a drop too little either.

When Max comes home only God will be able to receive the glory for sustaining us through this nightmare of a wait. For making the process work after months and months of it not working and for protecting a little boy until he is safely in the arms of his mommy and daddy. No matter how it works now it will be a miracle.

"So please, go ahead God and bring him home for Your name's sake!"

The Power of Prayer...

Last night, during our church's last revival meeting, our pastor asked Veldon to share a bit about the journey we have been on to bring Max home. After Veldon shared where we are and a little about the road to this point, Doug asked me to join Veldon and asked the church to gather around us and pray for God to move and bring Max home. Although I know that prayer isn't a magic bullet that will change everything immediately (of course God can do anything) I do believe that prayer is powerful and especially powerful are the prayers of a church body coming together for a common purpose. Doug prayed over us, he prayed for Max and for our family. One thing that he said that made my heart smile was that "we already know that it is Your (God's) will for Max to come home because Your Word tells us that we are to care for orphans and so we are asking You to move and bring him home". We weren't looking for confirmation last night, we know God has lead us to this point, but for others to understand that we are on the right road was so sweet. We've been questioned so much about whether or not we might have made a mistake, or if Max might be the wrong child, or Thailand might be the wrong country it was such a blessing for Doug to understand that we believe with every fiber of our beings that God has led us to this point.

As I have already said I don't think prayer is magical, but I do believe it is powerful. Beyond the power of prayer there is also comfort in prayer, there was such solace in others sharing our burden. This has been a very long, very lonely road to travel. We have a few friends that have walked the road consistently from day one but for most he's not that real. I understand that, how could he be real to those who have only seen glimpses of him in pictures and videos? How can he be so real to us? Nevertheless he is real to us, he's a part of our everyday life. We talk about him all the time, cry for him, pray for him and my arms can feel him nestled tightly in them. I know that he will come home, but last night as people who us love and...therefore for love Max for us...stood around us crying for him, crying for our pain, crying and begging God to bring him home...to move in a huge way and to get all the glory, the yoke that we have carried for 22 months became so much lighter. The weight of this road became more bearable as the love of our brother's and sister's in Christ took some of the burden from us.

Of course, I am hopeful that our referral comes right away, and I know that I know that God can send it today and might. He might answer the prayers sent on our behalf last night right away, but if He doesn't last night was not in vain it gave us peace. Peace I haven't felt in months. I will forever be grateful for the love our church and their prayers over us last night. I will forever be grateful for fellowship with the Saints and for a great pastor who loves his God and loves his flock.

God answers the prayers of His people and in His time He will bring our little boy home. He will rejoice with us when Max walks into a room, in an orphanage thousands of miles away, an orphan, alone, and walks out of that same room, moments later, a beloved son. I have replayed the scene over and over and no matter how it will play out it will glorify our Father in Heaven and it will change everything!