Crazy beginning! I am ever explaining our school to friends, our family has figured it out! We home school three days a week and the other two days the kids are at school. At a normal school going from class to class, eating lunch, being taught by highly qualified teachers and getting an accredited education. On home days we follow the home work assigned by our teachers and everything is turned in and an actual grade is given. I guess we are a hybrid school. We are not a traditional school by any stretch of the imagination and we don't home school in the traditional home school way.
I teach 8th grade American History at the school and have for the past 5 years. I also assist, for 5 years in 5th grade and in 3rd grade last year and this year. I have all of these glamorous jobs because I love, love, love middle school, call it an illness, I love to teach, I love history and seeing how God has worked in history and to pay tuition for 3 kids. Our school has two sessions. Our buildings aren't large enough to accommodate all the families that want to be a part of this amazing program so we have a Monday/Wednesday session, the kids are at school on Monday and Wednesday and a Tuesday/Friday session where the kids are at school. Thursdays are for high school and middle school labs, clubs and meetings. It's an amazing program that really prepares kids for college. The idea of getting an assignment on Thursday that will need to be completed and turned in on Monday leads to having to plan your time wisely and keep up with things. Just like in college, where you aren't in the same classes everyday. Our family happens to be on the M/W session. We love it! That's the session I've worked on for the last 7 years. Where I teach and assist. There's a point to this information.
This week, okay really last week we had our big China program introduction call with Liz our favorite adoption social worker. She happens to have been our Thailand adoption social worker too, which is super cool. We had been planning and preparing to pay our first payment and thought we had it covered, but as we talked we realized that we didn't really understand the wording of the payment schedule and we were going to owe $1,400 more than we had planned. We don't have an extra $1,400 sitting around...we don't have an extra $140 sitting around generally.
School was starting so I stalled on the paperwork. Our social worker was going on vacation so I felt I could stall and we prayed, not like we ever stopped, but we prayed in earnest for God to provide. My sweet friend had done a fund raiser for us and was going to pay a significant amount toward the first agency payment, God had provided the rest...except the $1,400 that we weren't planning on.
As this week moved along the need to get the paper work signed and back to our agency and to pay our fee was weighing heavy on me. So we decided to wait and then send what we could on Friday and hope they didn't charge us a ton for late fees. They are a great agency, but they are a business and have expenses too. We don't just get to decide what to pay. So Thursday rolls around and Veldon came home from work. We had company, he got the mail, I never get the mail, never, never, never...it's some sort of phobia it's weird, but I won't do it. The kids won't even ask me to anymore they know it will probably lead to some sort of breathing incident. (I have asthma.) Thursday evening got crazy and Veldon and I didn't get a minute alone. As we were getting ready for bed he said, "Guess what, we got a check in the mail for $1,000 from my doctor. Do you think that's enough to pay our agency fee?"
Me, "Wait a minute why would your doctor send us a refund?"
Veldon, "I don't know but don't you think it's great?"
Me, "No, we can't keep it we haven't even paid them that much."
Veldon,"Oh, that's true we haven't. Darn I was thinking this was our answer."
Me,"Who was it from?"
"GA ...." (Sweet, wonderful, sometimes clueless man whom I love!!)
Me,"Baby, that's not your doctor. That's Max's doctor. How much did you pay to the hospital for the deductible for his surgery last year?"
Veldon, "$..."
Me, "That's the whole deductible! This is a refund for the prepayment to the doctor!"
You see Max had surgery last year, 14 months ago, we had to pay $1,000ish up front to the surgeon and they promised if they filed after the deductible was met the money would be refunded. Over two months after the surgery the hospital billed us for the whole amount of the deductible (they got to the insurance first) and Veldon paid it. He didn't put it all together, God didn't let him put it all together. He put that money on hold for us to return to us on August 22, 2013 to pay the difference for Chen Hui's first payment. Had we realized we were getting a refund we would have bugged them to death...obviously! We didn't see it coming, we couldn't have guessed God would provide in this way, but He did! He's so able to meet our needs even beyond what we could hope for or imagine. I know I said we were $1,400 off and we received $1,000. The entire amount was sent yesterday. I really have no idea where the other $400 came from but it was there!
Back to our school. As I said I have worked and taught on the MW session. This year, shortly before school started, our principal called me, on a Friday night, (when the principal calls on a Friday night somethings up!) and offered me the TF 8th grade American History classes this year. Four classes in total now! It doubles what I make and although it won't pay for an adoption it will go a long way in filling in the gaps and helping us to take care of little things that get pushed to the back while trying to adopt a child. I have always thought it would be great to teach all the 8th graders history, but having taught on MW for 5 years and never being offered the TF position, even with several teacher changes, I didn't think I would ever be offered and I was...exactly when we needed it. Without any warning, without any manipulation.
Every way that God has provided for this adoption so far has been out of the blue. My mom was able to help us some with our last adoption, but we live in a different world and money isn't as available today. God doesn't need the economy to be great, He doesn't need us to figure this out. He's got it. When He gives it doesn't deplete His resources. When He gives there are no strings attached. We don't have to choose between the adoption and something else. He just provides. He just speaks it into being. He just does it.
This is our adoption verse it was with Max and it is again with Chen Hui. It's not a prophetic promise, we aren't claiming that He's promised to bring Chen Hui home because of this verse. It's a spiritual truth. What He begins He will see to completion. We have seen Him continue to provide and we believe at this time, that it is His desire for Chen Hui to be our son. Of course, if it's not His will we trust Him in that too.
But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!
Habakkuk 2:3
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Welcome Pictures...Hard Realities
Today in my inbox was an email from another adoptive momma who spent a good part of yesterday at Chen Hui's orphanage and looked for him for us and took pictures and asked questions.
He's as beautiful as he was 3 months ago when we got the most recent picture. His eyes are alert, his cheeks are full, but he is bone thin. He appears to have almost no muscle tone and you can even see the shape of his heel bone in one picture.
I was sobbing to see him, to know that just 24 hours ago he was fine, but I was also sobbing that he's so clearly hungry.
This family took crackers to pass out and the children devoured them. What a special treat for all those sweet babies. But, again, how very sad. They are given a small amount of food at mealtime and that's it, no snacks nothing else. This is such a change for us. When we were waiting for Max every single picture we got was of a very plump, well fed little boy. His tummy was round and full of parasites, but he wasn't hungry...ever. Our guide told us he ate candy and drank Pepsi with the nannies every day.
I have so many thoughts swirling around in my brain. Concern, joy, frustration, weariness, excitement, anticipation, wonder. I could go on and on, but the biggest thing that comes to my mind right now is RANSOM.
I believe that these babies are stuck, they are locked away and the proverbial key has been thrown away, they are owned by the government, they have no voice, they have no choices, they are in darkness, in bondage.
Every time we look at our finances and there's enough to pay for a step in the adoption my mind's eye is watching our God ransom our son out of bondage, his son out of bondage. Every grant I look at, every application I am working on I am praying for God to provide the ransom for our son. We can't do it, we don't have 40% of our yearly income to give for our son, we would gladly do it if there were any possible way, but there isn't. But we serve a faithful God who can ransom Chen Hui.
Along the same line, God's provision, ransom, rescue, adoption I keep coming across negativity about adoption...which is interesting because I'm not really on any groups and I don't follow any blogs. One group for Thailand that rarely posts anything and a home school group. I have my little blog and I some how ended up on a FB adoptive parent page. Nevertheless, I keep reading about how wrong it is for people to adopt a child to "rescue that child" that the right reason to adopt is that you've always wanted kids. Okay, if they are saying that we Christians are adopting out of guilt and we don't want kids at all, then yes it would be wrong to adopt, but that's not the impression I get from these statements, posts, articles. It's as if there's something wrong with adopting an orphan because you want to help a child, because they have a need you can provide. I can be a mom, I've been doing it for a really long time. Veldon can be a dad, he too has been doing it for quite a while. (Okay technically the same amount of time, but I did have 9 months of actually carrying 3 of the 4!) So it's wrong to adopt to help a child? It's wrong to rescue a child because adopted kids don't want to be rescued! Really? I look a Chen Hui, he's malnourished, sitting in a hot room with heat rash and other sores on his body. His shirt is too big and, besides a rather large diaper, he's not wearing anything else. His legs don't look strong enough to hold his weight for long and there aren't even many toys to play with. He shares a metal crib with another child and spends a good amount of his day there. He would rather stay there? When he's 15 he'll wish his parents had left him alone? (Okay well maybe 15 is a bad example.) It seems to me that the world has it wrong. It seems to me that it's selfish and wrong to adopt a child to fill a need in your life or at least to believe that a child will in any way be able to fulfill a need for you, because they are greedy, needy, adorable little creatures! Why can't we all just rejoice that a child, any child, will be in a loving home?
We love children, we always have. We love being parents. We love adoption! We love it because we have been adopted, ransomed, rescued by our Father. We believe that to adopt an orphan and change his life is the gospel at work. We believe that we are commanded to be involved in the lives of orphans, that God loves the orphan and that we are to be involved and the very best way to be involved is to make a child an orphan no more.
As I look over the pictures of our son and as I contemplate the future. As I hear the voices, yay and nay echoing in my head. I can't help but believe that any orphan would rather be in a home and that if they could they would say "yes please rescue me!". I believe that those little children would want the naysayers of adopting because we love children, and because we believe it is a mandate from God for those of us able to adopt, to walk a day in their shoes, or lack there of, and then criticize the parents that love them enough to beg God to ransom them.
He's as beautiful as he was 3 months ago when we got the most recent picture. His eyes are alert, his cheeks are full, but he is bone thin. He appears to have almost no muscle tone and you can even see the shape of his heel bone in one picture.
I was sobbing to see him, to know that just 24 hours ago he was fine, but I was also sobbing that he's so clearly hungry.
This family took crackers to pass out and the children devoured them. What a special treat for all those sweet babies. But, again, how very sad. They are given a small amount of food at mealtime and that's it, no snacks nothing else. This is such a change for us. When we were waiting for Max every single picture we got was of a very plump, well fed little boy. His tummy was round and full of parasites, but he wasn't hungry...ever. Our guide told us he ate candy and drank Pepsi with the nannies every day.
I have so many thoughts swirling around in my brain. Concern, joy, frustration, weariness, excitement, anticipation, wonder. I could go on and on, but the biggest thing that comes to my mind right now is RANSOM.
I believe that these babies are stuck, they are locked away and the proverbial key has been thrown away, they are owned by the government, they have no voice, they have no choices, they are in darkness, in bondage.
Every time we look at our finances and there's enough to pay for a step in the adoption my mind's eye is watching our God ransom our son out of bondage, his son out of bondage. Every grant I look at, every application I am working on I am praying for God to provide the ransom for our son. We can't do it, we don't have 40% of our yearly income to give for our son, we would gladly do it if there were any possible way, but there isn't. But we serve a faithful God who can ransom Chen Hui.
Along the same line, God's provision, ransom, rescue, adoption I keep coming across negativity about adoption...which is interesting because I'm not really on any groups and I don't follow any blogs. One group for Thailand that rarely posts anything and a home school group. I have my little blog and I some how ended up on a FB adoptive parent page. Nevertheless, I keep reading about how wrong it is for people to adopt a child to "rescue that child" that the right reason to adopt is that you've always wanted kids. Okay, if they are saying that we Christians are adopting out of guilt and we don't want kids at all, then yes it would be wrong to adopt, but that's not the impression I get from these statements, posts, articles. It's as if there's something wrong with adopting an orphan because you want to help a child, because they have a need you can provide. I can be a mom, I've been doing it for a really long time. Veldon can be a dad, he too has been doing it for quite a while. (Okay technically the same amount of time, but I did have 9 months of actually carrying 3 of the 4!) So it's wrong to adopt to help a child? It's wrong to rescue a child because adopted kids don't want to be rescued! Really? I look a Chen Hui, he's malnourished, sitting in a hot room with heat rash and other sores on his body. His shirt is too big and, besides a rather large diaper, he's not wearing anything else. His legs don't look strong enough to hold his weight for long and there aren't even many toys to play with. He shares a metal crib with another child and spends a good amount of his day there. He would rather stay there? When he's 15 he'll wish his parents had left him alone? (Okay well maybe 15 is a bad example.) It seems to me that the world has it wrong. It seems to me that it's selfish and wrong to adopt a child to fill a need in your life or at least to believe that a child will in any way be able to fulfill a need for you, because they are greedy, needy, adorable little creatures! Why can't we all just rejoice that a child, any child, will be in a loving home?
We love children, we always have. We love being parents. We love adoption! We love it because we have been adopted, ransomed, rescued by our Father. We believe that to adopt an orphan and change his life is the gospel at work. We believe that we are commanded to be involved in the lives of orphans, that God loves the orphan and that we are to be involved and the very best way to be involved is to make a child an orphan no more.
As I look over the pictures of our son and as I contemplate the future. As I hear the voices, yay and nay echoing in my head. I can't help but believe that any orphan would rather be in a home and that if they could they would say "yes please rescue me!". I believe that those little children would want the naysayers of adopting because we love children, and because we believe it is a mandate from God for those of us able to adopt, to walk a day in their shoes, or lack there of, and then criticize the parents that love them enough to beg God to ransom them.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
New Direction
It's been a very, very long time since I have updated our blog. Allison is flying home right now from her summer doing mission work in Chang Klang, and Max is preparing, very happily, to begin kindergarten and our family just completed the home study for our second adoption!
Getting to this point hasn't been fast or without bumps in the road. I have called WACAP several times over the past year to find out the status of the Thai adoption system and wasn't encouraged to even try. Finally our SW told me we should just go to China.
I have to be honest, China was not in my heart...at all...okay well maybe a little because there are orphans there. But I don't really like following crowds, I don't want to do what everyone else has done...I really have no idea why, but I resisted China.
Last fall we started to talk seriously about whether or not God was leading us to adopt a little brother for Max. We contacted WACAP officially a couple times and didn't really get a response. I was fine with that, because I wasn't really sure. We carried on with life and the desire to adopt came and went.
The week after Christmas our family went to Gulf Shores with my sister's family and my parents. My parents paid for a week in a large house on the beach. It was amazingly fun, but my mom was sick almost the whole time we were there. She tried to participate but spent most of the week laying down. My nephew ended up in the hospital the day after we arrived and had a ruptured appendix. He stayed in the hospital the ENTIRE time we were there. So the dream vacation was a little less than ideal! During this crazy week the director of the waiting children department at WACAP emailed us and apologized and said we had some how fallen through the cracks but she would send us some profiles and we could begin to look.
I wasn't sure. I wanted to, but nothing felt right. I had no peace. We left to return to GA and the next day my parents left and the following day my sister's family went home. My mom was still sick so she went to the week-end clinic as soon as they got home and she was diagnosed with allergic hepatitis. The doctor said it was a reaction to an antibiotic she had never taken and should never take again. She was told to go to her GP on Monday to follow up, which she did. He quickly ordered a sonogram to be sure there was no damage to the liver and in two day she had a sonogram and CAT scan. The next morning, a Wednesday, she went back to the doctor and was told she had cancer in her liver and based on the symptoms it was most likely bile duct cancer, a really bad cancer with a really bad name. It's rare, about 3,000-5,000 a year are diagnosed in the US and all but about 5% have risk factors like having had hepatitis or alcohol abuse or something. My mom falls in the 5% or less, she had NO risk factors. The cancer is aggressive and there is no cure. The cancer might respond for a while but then, for no reason, it will stop responding. It's like the evil twin of pancreatic cancer, or at least to me it is. The good news is that the antibiotic caused an issue that brought attention to the liver which allowed the doctors to find the cancer. Most people with bile duct cancer don't find it until they are about to die. She's been going for 6 months now and is responding to the treatements.
I cannot express the pain and fear that is experienced with a family member is diagnosed with terminal cancer, probably with anything terminal. She's too young to die, we just buried her mom 3 years ago...I think...it hasn't been very long. My grandmother lived into in 90s. This isn't supposed to happen. But it has and it's where we are and all thoughts of adoption went to the back of my mind. My thinking was that God had slowed us down because we were going to be walking through a very, very difficult time and being in the middle of an adoption would add to the stress.
Throughout the spring she had several surgeries biopsies and had stints put in, so she would stop being yellow, and started her chemo and eventually life fell into a new normal. In March our WACAP SW emailed and asked how we are doing and if we were still thinking about adopting. The desire never left and, having been to see my mom, I felt like things were stable for a while and honestly if God gave us this time with my mom perhaps we should bring home her grandson so she could meet him. Veldon and I prayed and stepped out in faith by asking for some profiles.
We looked through March and into April when we landed on a profile we loved. He was three in May and beautiful. He has some special needs, but not more than we could deal with. We were able to save a little money while we got ready to start the home study and in May we had our first visit, buy the end of May we had received pre-approval from China and we were on our way...as long as God provided.
"We will continue this journey as long as God provides" has been our mantra. I mean honestly, we know that God loves the orphan, we know that God calls us to be involved with orphans and we wanted to bring another child home. But how do we know if it's God's will for our family? We wouldn't, I think, maybe there are other ways to know, but for us this made sense, it's very tangible. If God didn't provide financially then that would be our answer. We don't have the means, nearly half our yearly income, to pay for an adoption, but he does! He can provide for our adoption without strain, without depleting his resources. If we choose to go out to eat with the whole family it might mean that we have to wait a week to buy the paint I want for the living room. Our life is full of "this for that". But God's reality isn't. He can do anything. He made this world out of NOTHING, with his BREATH, he SPOKE and there it was, so he absolutely, without a doubt could provide for this adoption.
Would he provide? Was it his will? Is his desire to add Chen Hui to our family? Those were the questions we have struggled with all summer.
Getting to this point hasn't been fast or without bumps in the road. I have called WACAP several times over the past year to find out the status of the Thai adoption system and wasn't encouraged to even try. Finally our SW told me we should just go to China.
I have to be honest, China was not in my heart...at all...okay well maybe a little because there are orphans there. But I don't really like following crowds, I don't want to do what everyone else has done...I really have no idea why, but I resisted China.
Last fall we started to talk seriously about whether or not God was leading us to adopt a little brother for Max. We contacted WACAP officially a couple times and didn't really get a response. I was fine with that, because I wasn't really sure. We carried on with life and the desire to adopt came and went.
The week after Christmas our family went to Gulf Shores with my sister's family and my parents. My parents paid for a week in a large house on the beach. It was amazingly fun, but my mom was sick almost the whole time we were there. She tried to participate but spent most of the week laying down. My nephew ended up in the hospital the day after we arrived and had a ruptured appendix. He stayed in the hospital the ENTIRE time we were there. So the dream vacation was a little less than ideal! During this crazy week the director of the waiting children department at WACAP emailed us and apologized and said we had some how fallen through the cracks but she would send us some profiles and we could begin to look.
I wasn't sure. I wanted to, but nothing felt right. I had no peace. We left to return to GA and the next day my parents left and the following day my sister's family went home. My mom was still sick so she went to the week-end clinic as soon as they got home and she was diagnosed with allergic hepatitis. The doctor said it was a reaction to an antibiotic she had never taken and should never take again. She was told to go to her GP on Monday to follow up, which she did. He quickly ordered a sonogram to be sure there was no damage to the liver and in two day she had a sonogram and CAT scan. The next morning, a Wednesday, she went back to the doctor and was told she had cancer in her liver and based on the symptoms it was most likely bile duct cancer, a really bad cancer with a really bad name. It's rare, about 3,000-5,000 a year are diagnosed in the US and all but about 5% have risk factors like having had hepatitis or alcohol abuse or something. My mom falls in the 5% or less, she had NO risk factors. The cancer is aggressive and there is no cure. The cancer might respond for a while but then, for no reason, it will stop responding. It's like the evil twin of pancreatic cancer, or at least to me it is. The good news is that the antibiotic caused an issue that brought attention to the liver which allowed the doctors to find the cancer. Most people with bile duct cancer don't find it until they are about to die. She's been going for 6 months now and is responding to the treatements.
I cannot express the pain and fear that is experienced with a family member is diagnosed with terminal cancer, probably with anything terminal. She's too young to die, we just buried her mom 3 years ago...I think...it hasn't been very long. My grandmother lived into in 90s. This isn't supposed to happen. But it has and it's where we are and all thoughts of adoption went to the back of my mind. My thinking was that God had slowed us down because we were going to be walking through a very, very difficult time and being in the middle of an adoption would add to the stress.
Throughout the spring she had several surgeries biopsies and had stints put in, so she would stop being yellow, and started her chemo and eventually life fell into a new normal. In March our WACAP SW emailed and asked how we are doing and if we were still thinking about adopting. The desire never left and, having been to see my mom, I felt like things were stable for a while and honestly if God gave us this time with my mom perhaps we should bring home her grandson so she could meet him. Veldon and I prayed and stepped out in faith by asking for some profiles.
We looked through March and into April when we landed on a profile we loved. He was three in May and beautiful. He has some special needs, but not more than we could deal with. We were able to save a little money while we got ready to start the home study and in May we had our first visit, buy the end of May we had received pre-approval from China and we were on our way...as long as God provided.
"We will continue this journey as long as God provides" has been our mantra. I mean honestly, we know that God loves the orphan, we know that God calls us to be involved with orphans and we wanted to bring another child home. But how do we know if it's God's will for our family? We wouldn't, I think, maybe there are other ways to know, but for us this made sense, it's very tangible. If God didn't provide financially then that would be our answer. We don't have the means, nearly half our yearly income, to pay for an adoption, but he does! He can provide for our adoption without strain, without depleting his resources. If we choose to go out to eat with the whole family it might mean that we have to wait a week to buy the paint I want for the living room. Our life is full of "this for that". But God's reality isn't. He can do anything. He made this world out of NOTHING, with his BREATH, he SPOKE and there it was, so he absolutely, without a doubt could provide for this adoption.
Would he provide? Was it his will? Is his desire to add Chen Hui to our family? Those were the questions we have struggled with all summer.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Lessons in Language
So we've almost traveled 2 years on the road with our Max, and the journey is presently bringing us to Kindergarten. I can't believe it's that time already, but no matter how much we wish it to be otherwise our babies grow up!
Last month Max was tested for at our little private, half way, homeschool, school. Our kids attend 2 days a week and then we homeschool, with assignments and objectives from the teacher, the other 3. It sounds a little sketchy to the outside world, and I have to admit when I first heard about it I could not imagine what a homeschool school could possibly be...do the parents go to school with the kids?..do moms take turns teaching?...what could it be? Well, it's none of those. It's a normal school two days a week. Our kids go to class, eat lunch, have labs, activities like band and the yearbook, they have a school newspaper and even student council. The teachers are all degreed and the school is accredited. It's the perfect place for our family.
Well, as I said Max was tested and he wowed the tester with a 52/100...that's right he failed! He failed big time, it wasn't even close. I'm not sure what I was expecting. He is super smart as proven by his quick wit and coping skills, but he is still only 20 months into a new language, he spoke Thai, very well, the first 4 years of his life. I've read it takes 5 years to truly master language and I believe it, but Max seemed so far ahead of the game. As a momma would wish I hoped he would do really well so everyone would see what I see.
I asked the tester what questions he missed, he did poorly on body parts, numbers and the alphabet...pretty much everything. She said, very sweetly mind you "Oh I'm sorry we don't tell the parents what questions we ask.". REALLY??? Our little half way homeschool school won't tell us what our child is going to be tested over? I'm not asking for the codes to the nuclear warheads, just the body parts my son can't name. Which I have found out through the underground momma network they are expected to know such body parts as forearm, chest and calf...okay he should have failed...he couldn't in a million years point to or say any of those is asked. He would say tummy, arm and leg...by the way is it fair he be asked to name the forearm when he's kind of missing one? That's another post...
As I went on to talk to her about Max I shared with her Max's language issues. He seems to understand, he's very good at convincing us he understands, we believe he understands, until he does something really strange...then we get it....he doesn't always understand. He can ask over and over where we are going and when we get on the car he will ask again. I've come to realize that he keeps asking because he doesn't understand what we are saying. "Taking Allison to get a passport." for example, means nothing so he nods his head and asks again. If I change the answer to "Taking Allison to get a piece of paper." he stops asking. "Passport" means nothing to him so he's confused, paper he gets. He doesn't appear confused, but he is. As I explained this to her she smiled sweetly, again, and assured me Max responded like every other 5 year old who has lived in this country all his life. HMMMMM so most other 5 year olds get a 52/100? If so then Max is a genius and should just skip right over Kindergarten.
The fact that Max still has language issues is neither here nor there. The fact that he did poorly on his placement test doesn't matter. Even the fact that the tester can't acknowledge he continues to have language issues and will for several years, doesn't matter. I just have to remember who Max is and where he came from. Honestly, to get half the test right after less than 2 years seems pretty good to me. I would love to ask her how an English speaking child would do if he moved to Thailand at 4 and was expected to test into Kindergarten at the normal level 20 months later, but I did not and will not. It's enough for me that I know. Language comes slowly and kids are wonderful adapters. Max adapts to every situation. He watches what everyone else is doing and follows suite. He shakes his head and nods and convinces those around him he gets it, but often times he doesn't.
Max will go to our little Kindergarten. He'll be fine. He might struggle for a while, he might even repeat, but that's to be expected. As we continue on this road we just keep peeling off layers and dealing with what's underneath!
Last month Max was tested for at our little private, half way, homeschool, school. Our kids attend 2 days a week and then we homeschool, with assignments and objectives from the teacher, the other 3. It sounds a little sketchy to the outside world, and I have to admit when I first heard about it I could not imagine what a homeschool school could possibly be...do the parents go to school with the kids?..do moms take turns teaching?...what could it be? Well, it's none of those. It's a normal school two days a week. Our kids go to class, eat lunch, have labs, activities like band and the yearbook, they have a school newspaper and even student council. The teachers are all degreed and the school is accredited. It's the perfect place for our family.
Well, as I said Max was tested and he wowed the tester with a 52/100...that's right he failed! He failed big time, it wasn't even close. I'm not sure what I was expecting. He is super smart as proven by his quick wit and coping skills, but he is still only 20 months into a new language, he spoke Thai, very well, the first 4 years of his life. I've read it takes 5 years to truly master language and I believe it, but Max seemed so far ahead of the game. As a momma would wish I hoped he would do really well so everyone would see what I see.
I asked the tester what questions he missed, he did poorly on body parts, numbers and the alphabet...pretty much everything. She said, very sweetly mind you "Oh I'm sorry we don't tell the parents what questions we ask.". REALLY??? Our little half way homeschool school won't tell us what our child is going to be tested over? I'm not asking for the codes to the nuclear warheads, just the body parts my son can't name. Which I have found out through the underground momma network they are expected to know such body parts as forearm, chest and calf...okay he should have failed...he couldn't in a million years point to or say any of those is asked. He would say tummy, arm and leg...by the way is it fair he be asked to name the forearm when he's kind of missing one? That's another post...
As I went on to talk to her about Max I shared with her Max's language issues. He seems to understand, he's very good at convincing us he understands, we believe he understands, until he does something really strange...then we get it....he doesn't always understand. He can ask over and over where we are going and when we get on the car he will ask again. I've come to realize that he keeps asking because he doesn't understand what we are saying. "Taking Allison to get a passport." for example, means nothing so he nods his head and asks again. If I change the answer to "Taking Allison to get a piece of paper." he stops asking. "Passport" means nothing to him so he's confused, paper he gets. He doesn't appear confused, but he is. As I explained this to her she smiled sweetly, again, and assured me Max responded like every other 5 year old who has lived in this country all his life. HMMMMM so most other 5 year olds get a 52/100? If so then Max is a genius and should just skip right over Kindergarten.
The fact that Max still has language issues is neither here nor there. The fact that he did poorly on his placement test doesn't matter. Even the fact that the tester can't acknowledge he continues to have language issues and will for several years, doesn't matter. I just have to remember who Max is and where he came from. Honestly, to get half the test right after less than 2 years seems pretty good to me. I would love to ask her how an English speaking child would do if he moved to Thailand at 4 and was expected to test into Kindergarten at the normal level 20 months later, but I did not and will not. It's enough for me that I know. Language comes slowly and kids are wonderful adapters. Max adapts to every situation. He watches what everyone else is doing and follows suite. He shakes his head and nods and convinces those around him he gets it, but often times he doesn't.
Max will go to our little Kindergarten. He'll be fine. He might struggle for a while, he might even repeat, but that's to be expected. As we continue on this road we just keep peeling off layers and dealing with what's underneath!
Monday, February 25, 2013
Back to the Land of Smiles
Not Veldon and me though, this time it will be Allison going to Thailand to teach English and love on children. Since Max came home Veldon and I have talked on and on about how much we loved Thailand. How beautiful it was and how comfortable we felt there..even though for both of us it was our first true trip out of the Americas. I have been to Canada and Mexico, Veldon had never left the U.S. We fell in love! Allison has talked about missions since about the time God called her to Himself. She used to lay in bed at night and cry, wail really, about children in Africa with no water. She has always talked about leaving her comfortable home and country and going to serve Christ in other lands. Last spring she started really pressuring us about sending her to Thailand. We told her we wouldn't even consider it for another year. So last fall she began exploring the IMB's website and found a place to serve in Thailand. With our permission, and without our prompting, as a matter of fact at times I tried to distract her from it, she applied for the summer program. She contacted references, wrote her application, which was super huge, and started the process. She was the first to apply for this summer and the first to be accepted. The program is now full with 6 students. Student's must have completed their junior year in high school to participate. I'm pretty sure she will be the youngest in her group.
Right now she is working on raising funds, and getting her ducks in a row. We are a little behind in fund raising. We didn't really prepare because we really weren't sure she would be accepted since she just barely makes the age to go. Of course knowledge that she would be accepted wouldn't have helped much for preparing!
I am very, very excited for Allison to travel this road. I'm excited for her to experience another world, but as a mom I am also concerned about sending her so far away, to a place we can't get to quickly. It will, obviously, be the longest she has ever been away from us. Allison is a very mature girl, but she's also still a child and I see things that I hope won't be a hindrance for her as she works to serve Christ in this way. On the other hand our family has prayed about this, we have prayed for Allison, prayed for the finances and prayed that God would be glorified. I can trust God with my daughter, who is first and foremost His daughter. I can trust that He is going to do a huge work in her life that I could never hope to do and I can trust that she will be a blessing to those she comes in contact with. Her life will never be the same. As she walks this road and sees the world in a new way and from a new perspective her life will forever be changed.
Katie is not at all thrilled that Allison, her big sister and closest friend (generally), will be gone all summer. She is worried about being lonely, which I am sure she will be. She isn't sure what she will do for so long with her sister gone, I'm wondering the same thing. But Katie is also happy for Allison to have this opportunity and is excited to hear all about it when Allison returns home.
Right now she is working on raising funds, and getting her ducks in a row. We are a little behind in fund raising. We didn't really prepare because we really weren't sure she would be accepted since she just barely makes the age to go. Of course knowledge that she would be accepted wouldn't have helped much for preparing!
I am very, very excited for Allison to travel this road. I'm excited for her to experience another world, but as a mom I am also concerned about sending her so far away, to a place we can't get to quickly. It will, obviously, be the longest she has ever been away from us. Allison is a very mature girl, but she's also still a child and I see things that I hope won't be a hindrance for her as she works to serve Christ in this way. On the other hand our family has prayed about this, we have prayed for Allison, prayed for the finances and prayed that God would be glorified. I can trust God with my daughter, who is first and foremost His daughter. I can trust that He is going to do a huge work in her life that I could never hope to do and I can trust that she will be a blessing to those she comes in contact with. Her life will never be the same. As she walks this road and sees the world in a new way and from a new perspective her life will forever be changed.
Katie is not at all thrilled that Allison, her big sister and closest friend (generally), will be gone all summer. She is worried about being lonely, which I am sure she will be. She isn't sure what she will do for so long with her sister gone, I'm wondering the same thing. But Katie is also happy for Allison to have this opportunity and is excited to hear all about it when Allison returns home.
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