Fathers...

We observed Orphan Sunday at our church on Nov. 7. It was such a sweet service, our pastor preached from James 1:27, the mandate that believers are to care for orphans and widows. He did an excellent job, as always, of helping the body to see that this is true religion, this is the way Christ expects us to live. Our walk with Christ isn't about a list of rules or checking off church attendance it's about being Christ in the world. Easing suffering, sharing a burden, caring for the people our Father cares for...which is all men (and women). As I sat and listened I kept thinking about fathers. My father who has recently passed, my grandfather, Veldon's father...three men whom I love deeply and have counted on in so many ways. I also thought about a book I read in Seminary Life Without Father by David Popenoe. It was an amazing book countering the cultural trend propagating that fathers are unnecessary.

As I listened to Doug and pondered the changes that are coming in my life it hit me that the changes for Max are so much more. Obviously I am and have been aware that his adjustment will be harder, his life will change so much more than ours will, everything will change for him, but the most profound change will be a father. Max had a mother, she could have kept him, but by releasing him to the orphanage, maybe without even realizing it she secured a father for her son. Every child has a mother and I would never diminish the role I have played in the life of my children, but the father is the key that changes everything. According to Popenoe every statistic points to the fact that children with fathers present live in a higher economic state, grow up with more solid values (meaning they have values they practice), are less likely to be involved in crime and more likely to receive a higher education. They typically grow up to contribute to society rather than take from society. These are all statistics for the US, but I can't imagine they are very different in other parts of the world. Beyond all that I have previously mentioned fathers provide protection for their families, they provide financial security and teach little boys how to grow up to be responsible men and little girls what to expect from future husbands. My son treats me differently in the presence of his father, he is typically less likely to be hateful because he knows his dad will step in. As Hayden has gotten older, however, I'm noticing that he is beginning to treat me the way he does when his dad is in the room when we are alone. I love the influence Veldon is having on his son. Hayden helps me like Veldon does and is generally concerned about what I think and how I am feeling. Those are all behaviors modeled by his father.

So as I continue to prepare for our newest addition to the family I can't help but be grateful for Max that his father is on his way. He will grow up with all the benefits of a strong, involved and loving father. He will grow up safe and secure, perhaps not wealthy by American standards but wealthier than 80% of the world. He will grow up surrounded by love with a father who is the anchor. This wait has been long and painful, but I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for constantly showing me Himself through this process. He of course is the Great Father, He provides true security, He protects and defends the fatherless and those He loves, it is all through His provision that we have an eternal inheritance and an adopted family.